Lent Bumps – Summary

Crew Tue Wed Thu Fri Sat Overall Final Position
M1 -1 -1 -1 0 -3 16th in Division 1
W1 0 +1 +1 +1 +3 Head of Division 2
M2 -1 +1 0/- -/0 0/+1 +1 17th in Division 3
W2 +1 0 +1 +1 +3 11th in Division 3
M3 0 +1 +1 0 +2 6th in Division 4

M1: [Bow] Mike Tallent, [2] Daro Nakshbande, [3] Jacob Toop-Rose, [4] Josh Guha, [5] Hans Verschueren, [6] Kozzy Voudouris, [7] Lewis Couch, [Stroke] Neil Paul, [Cox] Hrutvik Kanabar, [Coaches] Chris Smith, Will Miller and Lachlan Jardine, [Boat] Adrian Cadbury.

W1: [Bow] Mary Coleman, [2] Selena Deng, [3] Rachael Baker, [4] Danielle Jackson, [5] Christina Woolner, [6] Rebekka Thur, [7] Tabitha Biller, [Stroke] Elizabeth Byrne, [Cox] Ellen Berry, [Coach] Roger Thorogood, [Boat] Leo Sharpeston.

M2: [Bow] Conor Bacon, [2] Hrutvik Kanabar, [3] Alistair Goodman, [4] Edward Miller, [5] Siggi Martinsson, [6] Shuowang He, [7] Adam Townson, [Stroke] Joe Gaffney, [Cox] Charles Connor, [Coach] Chris Braithwaite, [Boat] Turing Machine.

W2: [Bow] Izzy Read, [2] Lauren Dyer, [3] Victoria Clarkson, [4] Anya Davidson, [5] Anna Ahlskog, [6] Freya Reevell, [7] Alizée Pace, [Stroke] Martha Crass, [Cox] Dylan Whitaker, [Coach] Mike Arnold, Molly Murton and Ruby Whipp, [Boat] Jolly Roger.

M3: [Bow] Matthew Else, [2] Shaun Matos, [3] Sebastián Céspedes, [4] Jaza Syed, [5] Ethan Henson, [6] Alex Hobday/Daniel Larby, [7] Charlie Yoon, [Stroke] Danny Jenkins, [Cox] Abi Pearce, [Coaches] Sarah Williams and Conor Burgess, [Boat] Lady Johanna.

Lent Bumps – Saturday

W1 – Bumped Peterhouse W1, now Head of Div 2


M1 – Rowed over 16th in Div 1


Written by: Neil Paul

Down three in three days – so far this week had been one we’d rather forget. All we wanted was a good race, a chance to get onto the race rhythm we knew we had – we’d been outgunned in the first 500m on each of the last three days. Today was our chance to draw a line in the sand, to halt the freefall of King’s M1. We had Fitz behind; a crew that had performed similarly to us all term.

We had left the Boathouse yesterday with our heads down, and Chris Smith knew it. Today he called on our trump card – Lachlan Jardine – to get us fired up before the race. Lachlan yelled at us during our warm-up on the ergs, then he yelled at us a bit more on our warm-up to the Lock “believe in yourselves”. By the time we hopped out of the boat at marshalling, the crew was a completely different beast – we were starting to believe that we actually belonged in the First Division.

Magdalene were now sandwich boat (chasing Fitz). At marshalling, one of their crew members sidled up to us and out of the side of his mouth he whispered “just hold out for 1km”. The cheek of it!

Down at the start line Lachlan gave us one last pep talk before we jumped in the boat for the starting gun. The start was clean and we attacked First Post Reach. We held Fitz on station, which gave us all a great deal of confidence – maybe we could actually do this. Through the corners we hit our race rhythm – we had a few wobbles, but every time we’d lift it straight back up. Coming around Ditton, Fitz got to within a length, but we stopped them there. We couldn’t give in now, not on the last day. As we crossed the finish line, we couldn’t help but let out a yell. Back at the Boathouse, we chatted down the race, full of relief, breathless. It turns out we didn’t need Magdalene to come to the rescue – in fact, they were nowhere to be seen!


W2 – Bumped Clare Hall W1, now 11th in Div 3


M2 – Bumped (overtook) Queens’ M3, now 17th in Div 3


M3 – Rowed over 6th in Div 4

Lent Bumps 2017 – Day 5

Today is Day 5 – the final day of Lent Bumps and it’s shaping up to be the most thrilling yet! We have 5 King’s crews racing in potentially 7 races:

12:40 – King’s M3 (6th in Div 4) chase Boathouse rivals, Churchill M3, chased by Jesus M4

12:40 – King’s M2 (Head of Div 4), chased by St Catharine’s M3

13:20 – King’s W3 (12th in Div 3) chase Clare Hall W1, chased by Anglia Ruskin W1

14:00 – Depending on the result of their first race, King’s M2 may have the chance to bump up into Div 3, chasing Queens’ M3

14:40 – King’s W1 (2nd in Div 2) chase Peterhouse W1, chased by Homerton W1

16:00 – Depending on the result of their first race, King’s W1 may have the chance to bump up into Div 1, chasing Trinity Hall W1

16:40 – King’s M1 (16th in Div 1) chase Trinity Hall M1, chased by Fitzwilliam M1

Follow the racing as it happens by tuning in to CamFM: http://bumps.camfm.co.uk/?

Best of luck to all King’s crews racing today!

Lent Bumps 2017 – Friday

W1 – Bumped Homerton W1, now 2nd in Div 2

Written by: Tabitha Biller

While we were still on a high from W1’s first bump in Lents for 4 years, the crew knew that we had to catch Homerton to give us the best chance of bumping on Saturday. Added to that we had a score to settle having been bumped by them on the final day of Lents last year. Confident that Fitz would catch Magdalene behind us, we were expecting to have to work hard and were prepared to chase Homerton down the full course if we had to. Rowing down to the start we performed our usual trick of keeping Roger anxious by making our practice start “not pretty but quick” and soon we were at our station, enjoying being that little bit further away from the motorway bridge! After an anxious countdown the cannon came and we were off. Our start was good, getting the rate up around 40 and managing to keep a decent length on our strokes so that we had gained a whistle on Homerton before First Post Corner. We kept calm, lifting out of the corner and were able to hold them at 2 whistles coming into Grassy. Despite a couple of bowside wobbles our cox’s brilliant line round Grassy Corner brought us in with half a length and out with overlap, securing the bump as we chased them down Plough Reach. We just about managed to contain the whoops of delight until we’d cleared the river having bumped much earlier than we’d expected – a feat which we definitely own to Ellen’s awesome coxing (earning her great praise from our notoriously picky coach!). We go into tomorrow excited at the prospect of chasing Peterhouse with the potential of bumping up to sandwich boat.


M1 – Bumped by Trinity Hall M1, now 16th in Div 1

Written by Daro Nakshbande

‘Drat. Double Drat. Triple Drat. Please note: it stops at three.’ And so Smith introduced M1 to the novel concept of not receiving spoons.

Over the last two days we could have dealt with the outflow a little better than we have done, so we decided it would be beneficial to spend some more time in the boat before we marshalled for the race. We boated to Jesus Lock for our standard feet-out warm-up with some added front-end work drills to remind ourselves to stay loose and sharp.

At marshalling the crew felt disjointed and unfocused, perhaps a foreshadowing of what was yet to come. The row down to the lock was tense, resulting in a rather scrappy practice start at the Plough (‘as subtle as a brick to the face’). We did not let this faze us: even though the focus at the start line was still less good than it had been previously, we all knew what we had to do.

After a solid standing start we settled into our race rhythm before the outflow in anticipation of the wash which had caused us so many problems before at higher rates. We seemed to hold Trinity Hall off for most of First Post Reach and you could feel the confidence in the boat. However, it seemed we never quite fully recovered from the wash under the Motorway Bridge. Going into the corner, we had to take evasive manoeuvres and lost the fire. In the Gut, Trinity Hall was closing in on us fast. Realising this, we seemed to have conceded even before the bump was awarded.

Tomorrow, we will come back stronger, with the hope of holding Fitz off.

At least we made it round First Post Corner this time. Maybe we’ll even reach Grassy tomorrow.


W2 – Bumped Anglia Ruskin W1, now 12th in Div 3


M2 – Rowed over as Div 3/4 sandwich boat

Written by: Joe Gaffney

The day summarised our term and our bumps campaign thus far. We warmed up with intent – a clean practice start outside the plough, hitting 46 and settling at 41, was promising. Our prey, Queens III were late to station. Whether or not they showed, the Heavies were hungry to go up into Div 3, not least because we could then get brunch in hall before racing on Saturday. This was the first day we’d made full use of the length of the chain. Our start was one worthy of a bump. Despite a boat-stopping crab from Ed Miller, followed by a questionable restart, we were on two-whistles and gaining as we passed under the ‘motorway’ bridge. Riding the wash of crews ahead, it got increasingly loud – we were sure that the Heavies closing fast; all of a sudden we stopped dead. A clearing mishap by the crews ahead, and we we’d lost a blade and gained about 90 kilos to slog down the course. By the time we’d left the pile-up, which Queens had avoided, they had put a significant lead on us. Without hesitating, we had a second restart and gave chase. We really wanted our brunch, and especially wanted to get ourselves into the Third Badgering Division. Although we have spent most of the term boasting about our weight, it became highly apparent that this did not play in our favour. Closing from six lengths, we managed a whistle in the first half of the Reach – Charlie called us to finish them – two whistles. Was this it? We came through the railway bridge, realising the fight we had put up, the marshalling crews roared for us to row on. Alas, our best efforts were not enough. From first-post corner to the P&E, we had given it everything with 7 men. It wasn’t enough but we put in as good a fight as we could. We won’t look very pretty in the photos, but it was tough. A good rest tonight, eight blades, a row-over and we’ll finally (hopefully) get that elusive bump, finishing the campaign in Div 3. Whatever happens, King’s Heavies will show up when it really matters – just before the queue gets too long at Spoons.

Lent Bumps 2017 – Day 4

Today is Day 4 of Lent Bumps and we’ve got four crews racing:

13:20 – King’s W2 (13th in Div 3) chase Anglia Ruskin W1, chased by Newnham W3

14:00 – King’s M2 (Div 3/4 sandwich boat) chase Queens’ M3

14:40 – King’s W1 (3rd in Div 2) chase Homerton W1, chased by Magdalene W1

16:40 – King’s M1 (15th in Div 1) chase Girton M1, chased by Trinity Hall M1

Follow the racing as it happens by tuning in to CamFM: http://bumps.camfm.co.uk/?

Best of luck to all King’s crews racing today!

Lent Bumps 2017 – Thursday

W1 – Bumped Magdalene W1, now 3rd in Div 2

Written by: Ellen Berry

This day was a year and a half in the making. Most of our crew had rowed W1 for over a year; and most of our crew had never bumped before. Last year saw W1 only row over or go down; but today that was going to change. We were hungry to bump; and we knew Magdalene were within our reach. After being so close to bumping them last year, we were determined not to let them out of our sight this time. After a somewhat overzealous parking at marshalling, we warmed up down to the Reach and had a fast standing start (albeit ‘not very clean’) outside the Plough. Soon the time was upon us and we were being pushed out by Roger. Our start was clean and fast (reaching rate 40); and we hit First Post corner with a high speed. Fitz gave a good effort chasing us from behind but we were already closing in on Magdalene. After a lift out of First Post, we were only half a length behind Magdalene we quickly decreased until their cox conceded just before Grassy Corner. W1 had bumped! After much celebration and perhaps excessive greenery, we rowed home a slightly too high rating to be steady state thanks to our Stroke’s post-race high. Tomorrow we hope to have a chance at catching Homerton who are behind Tit Hall again, after failing to catch them yesterday.


M1 – Bumped by Girton M1, now 15th in Div 1

Written by: Neil Paul

Today would be our first Bumps race with the full Lent term M1. Kozzy, the big man at six, was back in the boat!

After discovering half the ergs were being used by the Leys, King’s M1 decided to warm up by doing some weight training. After searching around for something suitable to lift, M1 finally found a piece of equipment they were comfortable with – the Adrian Cadbury. And so our first rep began “Racks out. Heads. Racks in. Walk it out. Split to shoulders.” We then walked out to the hard, saw it was occupied with Leys boats, Selwyn boats, all kinds of boats. So began our second rep “Walk it in. Heads. Racks out. Lower it down. Racks in.” After a couple of reps, we decided we were sufficiently warmed up, so went upstairs to chat about the upcoming race. But where to chat? The Mays room – nope, W1 were there … The kitchen – nope the Leys were there … The toilet – nope, let’s not go there. Finally, King’s M1 found a quiet space to talk over the race plan. Clare were likely to bugger off ahead, and we knew it would be a hard row against a chunky Girton crew behind us. Key message of the day: stay relaxed.

Our row down to the start was tight, tentative and twitchy – you could feel the nerves in the boat. Unintelligible groans could be heard coming from stroke after a particularly violent lurch left a good portion of his thumb on the sax board …

The crew was given a big boost by our bank party when we reached Station 14 – many thanks to Roger, Simon and Selena for coming down to push us off, carry kit and cheer us on. A few moments later and Smith was also there – a 2.5 hour train journey for potentially 2.5 minutes of racing, that’s commitment.

The race itself was a blur – up at 48 off the start, and barely settling below 40 all the way along First Post Reach. The wash coming under the Motorway Bridge was particularly bad today, and threw us off our rhythm – Girton closed-in by half a length. Through the outflow, the rhythm became whirry and Girton continued to make inroads. Contact was made just before First Post Corner, and the Bump conceded. Girton continued to make inroads … Only when Hrutvik was near impaled on their bow ball did they decide to wind it down.

On the row home, and back at the boat house, you could sense that our heads were down. An uplifting speech from Smith brought us back to our senses.

The Adrian Cadbury has taken a battering, we are bloodied, but we are not defeated.


M2 – Rowed over Head of Div 4

Written by: Conor Bacon

The Heavies had one task today: row over ahead of the Sidney crew we had confidently bumped the day before (even with the minor crabs and general spannering). A simple task, which we knew was well within our capability. Starting head of the river (the divisions were actually reversed this year – Div 4 is the true pinnacle of Cambridge rowing), we had the advantage of clean water and a wall of noise from our hundreds of fans to spur us on to glory. When the full crew finally arrived at the boathouse, we pushed off as the last crew heading down to marshalling. Swiftly catching up with the straggling crews, our row down finally represented something of the confidence we had exuded all term. Sidney didn’t have eyes for us, instead turning their attention to the crew chasing them. Focused in, we awaited the cannon. Our start was fiery, and for once didn’t involve any major air strokes. In seconds (probably a bit longer) we had taken First Post Corner, and were cruising comfortably up the Gut at speeds never before seen on the Cam, sending Sidney down with every stroke. We took a tight line round Grassy and pushed on towards the Plough. With Sidney being bumped as they came around behind us, we knew all we had to do was stay together and strong to the finish. Div 3 and Queens’ III would be waiting for us the next day. The strong headwind on the Reach made a feeble attempt to grind us down, but our huge momentum (mass x velocity) meant it stood little chance. We took it through the line with clinical precision, as if the race had meant nothing to us, and powered on home at steady state without a need to rest. Two more days, two more crews? Watch this space.


M3 – Bumped Jesus M4, now 6th in Div 4

Written by: Shaun Matos

There was a certain confidence in the air as M3 rowed down to the motorway bridge. After having officially bumped for the first time yesterday there was a strong sense that we could achieve the same result. The bone-shaking experience of being next to the cannon certainly made marshalling under the motorway bridge more challenging, but we were soon off without any major incident. Thanks to Abi’s skilful coxing we had no issues winding it up through the outflow and were soon well on our way to catching Jesus M4. The reassuring sound of whistles could be heard from the bank, and all seemed well in the world. We then came to Grassy. It was difficult for us to fully appreciate the state of the river ahead of us, but, as it was the first time any of us had rowed in bumps, it was probably the closest thing to true chaos anyone in the boat had witnessed. Bumped out pairs were parked awkwardly on opposite banks, the cries of angry marshals filled the air and a mystery klaxon had started blaring. Jesus naturally decided that the best way to deal with the situation was to crash into the bank themselves, and then suddenly push back straight out into our path. The consequence of this manoeuvre was unsurprisingly a second, rather more stressful, bump for M3. Perhaps more importantly, we soon found out that our last day of bumps would see us chasing boathouse rivals Churchill M3 for the second time. Let’s hope that no one gifts them a bump again…

Lent Bumps 2017 – Day 3

Today is Day 3 of Lent Bumps and we’ve got four crews racing:

14:00 – King’s M2 (Head of Div 4), chased by Sidney Sussex M2

14:00 – King’s M3 (7th in Div 4) chase Jesus M4, chased by Eddies M2

14:40 – King’s W1 (4th in Div 2) chase Magdalene W1, chased by Fitzwilliam W1

16:40 – King’s M1 (14th in Div 1) chase Clare M1, chased by Girton M1

Follow the racing as it happens by tuning in to CamFM: http://bumps.camfm.co.uk/?

Best of luck to all King’s crews racing today!

Lent Bumps 2017 – Wednesday

M1 – Bumped by Clare M1, now 14th in Div 1

Written by: Hans Verschueren

The first race of the men’s first VIII promised to be a tough one. Clare, the crew chasing, had shown in previous races to be among the fastest on the Cam. The boat chased by King’s, Churchill only just beat us in Pembroke Regatta and we knew we gained a lot since then. Hence, the tactic of the day was simple:  fly or die.

The start was excellent, with good composure and most importantly, it was fast. The rough conditions did not affect us and soon we were gaining on Churchill. Half way on first post reach, we had already taken half a length out of the one-and-a-half boat lengths separation at which the crews start. However, Clare also had a great start and confirmed their reputations as one of the fastest crews on the river. They were gaining quickly. We did not give in and made them fight for their bump. Although they were right on our tails, the crew held the heads in the boat and continued to row strong and consistent. Finally, just before first post corner, the bow of Clare made contact with the vibrant white-and-purple hull of our boat, the Adrian Cadbury. At the moment we were bumped, we got to within ¾ of a length of Churchill.

Even though this was not the result we were after, there was a lot of positives to take away from this race. As this is still a relatively inexperienced crew, with middle four never having rowed bumps before, we had great composure and speed. We kept moving well in the wash of Churchill and with Clare right in front. In conclusion, we rowed well but got beaten by an even faster crew.


W2 – Rowed over 13th in Div 3

Written by: Dylan Whitaker

As we carried the boat out under foreboding grey skies, we were receiving many a side glance from Churchill W2 who were out for revenge. As we marshalled up, the whole boat was on edge that boiled to a head when a gate screw popped open. However, being the well-oiled machine we are, we swiftly returned to our normal tall and proud position on the river as we graciously sailed into the bank at marshalling. We struck fear into the hearts of Downing W2 with our war cry before cheering the lads for their huge bumps. Before we knew it, the cannon fired and W2 were off. Flying down the start, we knew we had to push hard to make gains on Downing, however the carnage on the Cam dashed our plans of a cheeky bump. By first post corner Churchill had moved to one length and the river ahead was clear. We were chasing a triple over-bump. After a technical reset and feeding off the cheers of all the other crews, King’s W2 was back. We flew down the plough reach even having time to pose for a few photos. The reach was windy. Did that perturb us? Absolutely not! We stuck the knife in and pushed back to a huge 3 length from Churchill spurred on by Freya’s blood-curdling scream of “Do NOT drop the rate”. Winding it down over the line we knew we gave it our all and deserve to spend the night carb-loading. We’re already excited to chase down ARU on Friday.


M2 – Bumped Sidney Sussex M2, now Head of Div 4

Written by: Alastair Goodman

The Heavies were hopeful. With two of the heaviest heavies (in the form of Gooders and Shuowang) back in the crew, we felt united again.  The Morning was bright and crisp, and in some way seemed to indicate to us that we were in for a good day of bumps.  We knew it wasn’t going to be an easy day of rowing, with it being likely for us to row twice, but we didn’t let that loom over our shoulders. A solid warm up to some classic 80’s tunes (besides Siggi who pranced around with his headphones on) and we were ready to hit the water. The row down seemed clean enough, fairly sat and unfairly powerful. After a few practice starts to get us in the mood, we arrived at our station and parked up. Some nervous murmurs could be heard around the Turing machine, but a wise word from 7 man Townson got us all ready for action “Row well boys, some girls might be watching”.

BANG, before we knew it, the cannon was off. I’ll be honest, it wasn’t the cleanest we have ever rowed, in fact, it was even close. An almost non-existent start, followed by some serious spannering somewhere around the 3 seat, led us all the way to the reach before we caught Sidney, but, the moral of this story is; a bump is a bump, and that’s exactly how we responded.

Race 2 was next, back down to marshalling in the same fashion as before, except this time we were at the other end of the field. We knew what went wrong in the previous race, and we sort of knew how to fix it, so with that in the front of our mind, we were ready again. This time we had Clare on the menu, we knew they were strong and we knew that an over bump on Jesus may be needed, so thoughts on how to pace ourselves differed in the boat. Another BANG. 2 draws and 5 much cleaner winds later and we were up to speed. We didn’t seem to be catching Clare, but they for sure weren’t pulling away. If it wasn’t for Queens in front of them I’d say we would have bumped, but unfortunately for us it looked like we needed to over bump. We didn’t let this get us down however, and we chomped onwards towards the next boat in the river Jesus III. Things got more unfortunate after Jesus bumped the boat in front of them. Jesus Jesus. After this it was quickly realised that we wouldn’t be able to catch anyone else, and that brought our day of bumping to an end. The heavies may be back in division 4, but mark my words, we will return.

A quick thank you to @StevenGeorge for failing to bring us a cox-box in time.


M3 – Bumped St Edmund’s M2, now 7th in Div 4

Written by: Danny Jenkins

After a disappointing result of day 1 of bumps M3 were ready to get the official bump we all knew we deserved. The row down was significantly less nervous than yesterday’s with the crew sporting their new splash jackets, obviously adding 30% speed to the boat and further motivation to prove what KCBC is made of. Sandwiched between St Edmund’s M2 and Caius M4, we knew we could turn the hope for a bump into a reality following Edmund’s trip into the bank yesterday, the real test came from Caius M4 who would be chasing us down. The start was significantly more clinical than yesterdays, with the boat having a functional cox box today, and we immediately started making ground on Edmunds, Caius however had had an even better start and made up their own ground. The contest was heated from the start, with Caius visibly catching, but coming up to First Post corner, M3 put on the legs and pushed them away, and successfully bumping Edmunds as we came around the corner. This corner had seen plenty of carnage however, leading to a collision with Caius as they attempted to multiple overbump, or they just didn’t take their defeat overly well, who really knows?

Lent Bumps 2017 – Day 2

Today is Day 2 of Lent Bumps and we’ve got four crews racing:

14:00 – King’s M2 (2nd in Div 4) chase Sidney Sussex M2, chased by Catz M3

14:00 – King’s M3 (8th in Div 4) chase Eddies M2, chased by Caius M4

14:40 – King’s W2 (13th in Div 3) chase Downing W2, chased by Churchill W2

15:20 – Depending on the result of their first race, King’s M2 may have the chance to bump up into Div 3, and get sweet revenge on Clare M3

16:40 – King’s M1 (13th in Div 1) chase boathouse rivals Churchill M1, chased by Clare M1

Follow the racing as it happens by tuning in to CamFM: http://bumps.camfm.co.uk/?

Best of luck to all King’s crews racing today!

Lent Bumps 2017 – Tuesday

W1 – Rowed over 4th in Div 2

Written by: Rachael Baker

After sitting in the freezing rain for what felt like forever we rowed down to the start. Freezing hands meant our practice start was anything but perfect but W1 weren’t shaken. Our start was strong and in not time at all we could hear Roger blowing the horn to signal we were close to Homerton. Unfortunately they caught Magdalene before we could catch them which left us with Fitz on our tails. They gave us a scare but a gut wrenching lift half down the reach let us pull away and clear of the chance of being bumped. They’ll be coming for us again on Thursday but we know we can take them now!


W2 – Bumped Churchill W2, now 13th in Div 3

Written by: Martha Crass

Having engaged in some horseplay on the bank at marshalling, when W2 climbed back into the Jolly Roger at the P&E it was with the composure and focus of those prepared to take out anyone in their path. Unfortunately this began with the premature death of a worm who had dared to venture into the way of the formidable Alizee, but the rest of the boat took this as a premonition signalling the tragic fate we hoped would befall our competition. Alas, this moment of buoyancy was short-lived with the arrival of saddening news concerning the King’s men’s side. Determined to row proudly for KCBC, we took a deep breath and began to clamber back into the boat. While this race may have lacked the Haribo that spurred us on in the getting-on race, and the splash jackets that we had been ensured would be delivered in time for racing that day, what we did have was worrying inexperience and an all-consuming horror at the events about to unfold. Only Freya and Jess kept cool heads under pressure, two Vice-Captains reunited once more to vanquish the competition and guide their young protégés to victory – it was quite the touching occasion for all involved.

Soon the moment was upon us; the four-minute cannon sounded, and with it various gasps, shrieks, and blood-curdling screams (although this may just have been the fear induced in the opposition by our menacing purple bobble hats). When we were once more composed, we de-kitted and began to retreat into our meditative state as a boat. The minute cannon sounded. Forty seconds. Thirty. We pushed out. Anna had a firm grasp on the large metal rod, and Dylan was gripping the plug keenly in anticipation. Characteristically unpunctual, we rolled up at the last second and held our positions. With the sound of the final cannon ringing in our ears, we began to draw, and the sound of feet slamming into footplates and blades knifing through the air mingled with whistles and a hysterical, unintelligible cacophony from the bank.

Our start was solid, our lengthens somewhat untidy, our actual rowing…unusual. W2 are aware that some boats prefer to row in a synchronised fashion, but tactically, for this race, we had opted for a staggered style of rowing. Students of King’s College are known for being unafraid to rock the boat, and we took this sentiment quite literally as we charged down the Cam after Churchill’s W2. Scrappy though we may have been, a term’s worth of power ergs and ludicrous overeating had clearly paid off. We bumped Churchill within minutes, valiantly catching two crabs as we did so. We swiftly held it dead, moved out of the way of the oncoming boats (causing only one minor-to-moderately severe blade clash as we did so), and began to celebrate. We paddled back to the boathouse at steady state and got in some brief rate practice, although stern pair firmly put a swift end to Dylan’s suggestion we sprint for a ‘minute of glory’. Victory was ours.


M2 – Bumped by Clare M3, now 2nd in Div 4

Written by: Ed Miller

The first day of the Lent Bumps looked promising for M2. The air was cool, the sun was shining, and the water was calm and ready to take the immense weight of the “Turing Machine”, filled with 8 of the meanest rowers to ever crab their way onto the Cam. We had a clear task before us: row over at the top of division 4 (historically the most prestigious division of the bumps – nothing less for the King’s Heavies). Clare M3 was chasing: a strong crew, but one we had already exerted cool dominance over in two head races this term. The paddle up to our start position was uneventful; slamming down onto bow side every 3 strokes is how the Heavies usually operate. BOOM. The 4 minute gun. This was it. It was about to go down. We were back in the boat, ready to race. 30 seconds, push out. 12, forward to front stops. 8, blades in. DRAW 1, DRAW 2, WIND 1, AIRSTROKE 2, WIND 3, … and we were off! The race down to first post reach, then through the gut, seemed to pass in no time at all, and before we knew it the boat was on Ditton corner, and Clare were making serious gains. It wasn’t long before they had clambered up onto 7’s blade – what was happening? What had gone wrong? A blur of whistles, and that was it: we’d been bumped. Our hopes had been dashed, but this will drive us on to row with all the more fury tomorrow. The Heavies’ Bumps campaign isn’t over yet.


M3 – Rowed over 8th in Div 4

Written by: Matthew Else

After a successful few weeks, reaching the semi-finals of Pembroke Regatta, qualifying for Lents and recording an improved time for the Getting On race course over Newnham Short Course, M3 went into their first day of bumps cautiously optimistic, hoping to make early progress in (for almost all of us) our first bumps campaign. It was to our surprise then, that as we pushed off the bank and waited for the starting cannon that something was a little too quiet. As it turns out, our cox-box had stopped working while we were marshalling, and so it was down to the crew to tie in together as we went through the start.

Shockingly, despite the lack of motivation from our cox, Abi Pearce, the crew managed to stay strong, lifting out of the first two corners and settling into our race rhythm. As we gradually gained on Churchill M3, we were spurred on by brief moments of a working cox box and a lively bank party. Lifting out of Ditton Corner, we finally managed to get what we’d been working for all term, a bump on the first day of Lents. Or so we thought. Unfortunately, St Edmund’s M2 had crashed on Ditton Corner, and as a result, Churchill were awarded the overbump, and we had to settle for a technical rowover. Although a disappointing result, the crew should look forward to the challenge of being chased by Caius M4, and chasing St Edmund’s M2.