Fairbairn Cup 2016 – King’s M2

Written by: Siggi Martinsson

He jammed the spoon deep into the dark ominous medium, the crew took a sharp intake of breath.

– This is it boys!

For months the crew had endured a gruelling program of physical and mental torture in preparation for this moment, the growing dread occupying our minds every waking hour.  This was it!  Time to face our greatest fear, stand up and be counted!

Over the minutes that followed the crew battled valiantly together to overcome the herculean task confronting us.  Defiantly we faced the purgatory together, and with each stroke of the spoon heaved ourselves one step closer to absolution from the dastardly horror.

– I am not sure I can take it anymore! – cried one crew member

– Keep going! Hold on! We are almost there! – howled another.

Finally after what seemed like an eternity of moans, groans and desperate wailing the last spoon-stroke was complete and the crew collapsed in a sobbing heap of destitute sobbing bodies.

Victory! Absolution!  Perdition!  Charles’s tiramisu was finally finished!

This triumph of good over evil in the conquest of the tiramisu brought a fitting end to a tempestuous and exhilarating term for the St Kilda Soay Sheep Project, also known as King’s M2.

Immediately prior to that, we had as means of a warm-up, raced the Fairbairns course, from one end of the river to the other.

We started the race strongly with two boat-stopping crabs.  It improved after that. Jasper and Charlie in stern pair established a powerful rhythm under the command of our task-master and chief tormentor Charles from the cox’s seat.  In the engine room Shaun, myself, Connor and our super-Tallented sub Mike rallied to back them up.  At the bows Jaza and Matt held things together with stoicism and precision and with every stroke accelerated the boat through and bravely brought us closer to our impending tiramisu-induced moment of reckoning.

It was a growing effort, perhaps as the crew became more familiar and settled as the race progressed, and in particular the final push towards the motorway bridge was a sweet moment of boatie joy.

The eventual result placed us 7th out of 13 2nd boats, critically ahead of both Churchill and Selwyn – to our knowledge none of the boats in our division had a tiramisu waiting for them discouraging them from finishing the race.

In summary: plenty of positives to build on heading into Lents.  Several crew members have been seen putting in the hours on the ergs, in the weights room and on the river and rumour has it that Charles has been working hard on his baking, and will next term produce a Victoria Sandwich that can knock out an Indian elephant.

Will he again use a butter knife to grate the chocolate?  And if so who puts chocolate on a Victorian Sandwich anyway?!

Cox: Charles Connor

Sroke: Jasper Montana

7: Charlie Yoon

6: Shaun Matos

5: Siggi Martinsson

4: Conor Bolas

3: Mike Tallent

2: Jaza Syed

Bow: Matthew Else